Why we scroll and how to do it less.
“Realise deeply the present moment is all you'll ever have”
Eckhart Tolle
We have a planet full of billions of people, and yet, more people feel alone, isolated and lonely than ever before. The reality that the majority of social interaction has become largely digitised means we have “the world at our fingertips” but nothing real or tangible in front of us. The whole social media and online dating space is a falsified and warped view of reality, and yet, I find myself on it now more than ever.
I feel that social media is actually a barrier to connection, not a gateway.
This journal prompt came to me after I caught myself mindlessly scrolling the gram tonight. Doing the rounds through my three email accounts, then bingeing my way through Telegram, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Messenger, Facebook and texts, only to find myself back on Instagram. I spent at least 90 minutes straight engaging in this scroll hole - and not once did it make me feel connected. It felt like the equivalent of a social media pub crawl. Questionably soporific, anesthetising and overstimulating all at once.
Apparently, from a quick and non-fact-checked Google search, on average, people spend 3 hours and 15 minutes on their phones per day. Individuals check their phones an average of 58 times each day. You can read more here.
Anyway - so after this hectic binge, I asked myself “What the actual hell am I doing? and “what am I getting out of it?”
And the answer is obvious - but interesting. On this particular occasion, I was getting absolutely nothing from this behaviour but generalised mental neuropathy.
Sure, there was an engaging DM with a friend here, and a voyeuristic story post there, but overall, I just spent half my evening engaging in utter mindlessness and not being present. This sneaky habit has become a little too familiar a pastime lately - and given the current happenings of the world, who could blame us, right?
This led me to the question: “So, if this behaviour depletes us, why do we continue to do it, and what are we attempting to mask ?”
On reflection, I concluded that generally super-scrolling fills one of two main voids for most people - either distraction/avoidance or a desire for connection.
Are we scrolling to feel something, or scrolling to avoid feeling something?
These simple questions helped me understand the emotional motives behind my own urge to spiral scroll, as they inform whether I am being avoidant or seeking connection. Asking myself these questions when I’m balls-deep in another conspiracy or truth page ;) can be a helpful circuit breaker and supports me to make conscious adaptations to my behaviour.
So, let’s break it down…
THE DESIRE FOR CONNECTION SCROLL:
In this state, my use of tech attempts to help me feel connected or ‘feel something’ - but falls grossly short. If I’m craving connection, I determine where there has been emotional stagnation in my week, or a deficit in my ability to connect with myself, others, or my feelings. By acknowledging this, there’s a greater chance to self-correct and take action to meet that need in my life, by making a concerted effort to increase high-vibrational connections with others and create space for emotional self-expression.
THE AVOIDANCE SCROLL:
In this state, I employ technology as a means to distract myself, effectively shielding me from undesirable emotions. This behaviour, while serving as a temporary escape from the present moment, is ultimately counterproductive, as it exacerbates feelings of detachment and suppresses uncomfortable, stressful emotions. Again, this realisation is a helpful insight for me when I find myself engaging in tech distraction Sometimes our realities can look pretty average, but actually being with yourself in the mundane mess of human-ness is a much more tender and productive space than social media super-scrolling.
“The desire to access states of true presence, mindfulness and connection is now, more than ever, a state that evades us”
Presence is a choice. It’s a practice. The more we pull ourselves out of the distraction matrix, and simply sit in our lives, the more resilient we become urge to distract ourselves, and the less appealing it becomes.
ANCHORING TOOLS (shit to do instead):
To disrupt the process, I find acknowledging my experience out loud helps me to arrive in it, metabolise and release it.
I find somatic embodiment most helpful. My chakra oils are designed to be olfactory anchors to help ground back into the body. I use scent often as a way to re-presence.
Pranayama - my go-tos are Sama Vritti Pranayama (box breathing) Nadi Shodhana Pranayama (alternate nostril breathing) or Kapalabhati (breath of fire). You can find free tutorial resources for Sama Vritti here, facilitated by Sandra Carson from Ekhart Yoga, and Nadi Shodhana here, facilitated by my Sian Pascale, from The Light Collective.
I am currently reassessing my usage of all apps, and aim to do an app cull to minimise unnecessary usage. Cutting down involves being honest about how I use my time, my resources, where I invest my energy, and where I give away my power. I’m not condemning social media, but rather just considering how I could use it more consciously.
There’s a phone I am looking to purchase which is not a ‘smartphone’. It feels like the way back towards seeking more physical, tangible and present experiences.
You can check it out here.
Creating spaciousness between the scrolls or a simple scroll protocol can help support you to get off the screen and into the world a little bit more. Because when we stop looking at our screens and actually notice the magick of the world around us, we may just happen across the connections and joy that we seek…